Understanding

I now know that sometime in everyones life they will find out who they are. Of course, the first time this happens it's one of those 'ohhh' moments. As in ' Oh, really? That makes sense.' The thing about this is that after that you never stop finding a deeper meaning of who you are. They just keep coming. And you'll find yourself saying 'But, I thought I was this way.' or '5 years ago I never would have done that.' Yet, now here you are. Here I am. Someone that is so great from who I used to be, and also so far from who I hope to be. Realizing that my life experiences will teach me who I am has brought some peace of mind. The lesson of 'Just keep trying when you can' has made me enof. I can say no, for when I can't do something (emotionally, physically, financially, or any other way). I also can push myself out of laziness into a world of service and love. Sometimes you have to go completely to one side of something and then completely to the other side, and back and forth for a while before you find your personal balance. I am still in this process. Admitting this is not hard, because I am trying.

Starting On My Way

I have realized over the years, that all that I have been through has made me who I am. Although looking back, some of it, anyone would take away if they could. Yet, I have now learned that I needed it all, to be me. It is only the severe pain that comes with the memories, that I realized needed to go. When the pain was finally released I was able to start moving forward. The process of releasing  20 + years of pain took years, but not 20 + years. I am still healing. The thing is is that I am healing, growing, learning, and finding my way. I am not stuck anymore. I love this feeling of moving forward.